Debate

Something Krista said in an earlier debate sparked a thought for me.

This does not only apply to military families either but I am curious.

When you get married is it always your way over your husband's parents and vice versa i.e your husband's way over your parents?

What are your thoughts.

I have struggeled for years to answer that question... who's decision matters most... when some one figures it out let me know.

I think it depends on the situations and the people involved. What would be a "hill to die on" for me, might not be very important to someone else and vice versa.

Overall, I'm not big on the whole idea of getting married and turning any and all allegiances to my spouse just because we said "I Do". I came from my family and until they do something to cause me to break it, I will always owe them some degree of loyalty.

That being said, just because they're my family and they've always been there, does not mean that they get to come first. They can learn to like/live with new boundaries in our relationship.

I think that the spouses opinion is important and should be listened to. That is the person I will spend the rest of my life with (hopefully). I would still listen to my family as well. They are my family and have always been there so their opinion matters too but I would not let them run my life or my relationship with my spouse.

Ugh damn phone. Was in the wrong debate

Here what I think about this one- There will be times when your family will be more important then your spouse- and there will be times when your spouse is more important then family.

Its all a balance really that everyone needs to respect. I had a hell of a time with my family or well my mom because she felt like I should agree with her all the time and my husband felt like my mom should learn to leave things alone. So basically I told them I was done being in the middle and when they both decided to grow up and figure things out I'd there.

they do now get along, so much so to the point where if Billy feels like he needs to talk to someone about life decisions he'll call my mom and have hour long conversations with her.

Psykiblue wrote:Here what I think about this one- There will be times when your family will be more important then your spouse- and there will be times when your spouse is more important then family.

This. This is what I was trying to say earlier and went off into random murkiness.

I got you Dallas

I think that this is something very hard for couples to find common ground on. Especially if one is a lot more close to their family.

I am super close with my family and would do anything for them. My ex only had his mother and they weren't close. Then she passed away. It was very hard for my ex to understand the closeness I had with my family. My parents are kind of go with the flow people so they are not super opinionated about things and they would never have asked me to choose them over him. He on the other hand mad it difficult sometimes because I wanted to be with my family.