Underage Drinking

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Underage Drinking

Post by marisa on Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:51 pm

I read a debate on another forum and thought I would ask your opinions on parents giving their teenagers alcohol to drink in the home. The debate started with a person posting about how her in-laws provided alcohol for their 17 year old daughter and several of her friends.

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by marisa on Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:57 pm

I would never give alcohol to someone else's kid. However, Dan and I have discussed that when we have kids, we will allow them to have small amounts of wine with dinner on special occasions once they reach their teen years. We feel that it is our job to teach our kids to drink responsibly. I know a lot of people who have used alcohol as a way to rebel against their parents and who have, as a result, become very sick or hurt from being irresponsible with their use.

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Emily on Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:16 pm

This is funny you brought this up. I was faced with this over the holidays. I would let my child drink some wine or champagne with us at the table. I agree it is important to show kids how to drink responsibly. A small sip at first. Increased as they got older. This year my sister poured Alexis some champagne at Thanksgiving. More then a sip! I was really irritated and my sister got all defensive. To begin with Alexis is only 11. She probably poured her a 1/3 of a glass. Second it should have been my decision. On top of that I already consider my sister to be not a alcoholic but not always great about her judgement with it and I don't want Alexis thinking that is ok. Luckily Alexis didn't like it anyway. Guess what I am saying is it should be the parents decision but I don't think it is necessarily a bad idea.

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:23 pm

I agree with you Marisa. It is our job as parents to teach them how to be resposible, and to do it in a safe envirnment. I think some kids get in trouble with alcohol because they want to know what it taste like or what it feels like or just because they aren't supposed to be drinking. With teenagers many times NO means sure go ahead.

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Sportyshorty0204 on Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:54 pm

I had a lot of friends parents in high school that would not mind holding parties at the house and supplying alcohol. However, you walked in the door and the keys were taken away from you. And before you left they would breathalyzer you and if you had any alcohol in your system you were driven home. Personally I dont mind giving our own kiddos alcohol but I would not supply them with a boat load of it either. I also would not give other parents children alcohol.
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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Psykiblue on Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:39 pm

I believe in being responsible and teaching your kids to be responsible. I'm unsure of how I feel about giving kids alcohol outright- I know a family it ruined them essentially- fines, potential jail time (didn't come to that) because they were caught. I know a lot of people think it'll never happen to me but I'm not sure how I feel on a whole.

I don't mind wine or something similar mom did the same to us when we were 15/16 but I also know family who gave it to their 2 year old. I'm overall really undecided.
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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:22 pm

Psykiblue wrote:I believe in being responsible and teaching your kids to be responsible. I'm unsure of how I feel about giving kids alcohol outright- I know a family it ruined them essentially- fines, potential jail time (didn't come to that) because they were caught. I know a lot of people think it'll never happen to me but I'm not sure how I feel on a whole.

I don't mind wine or something similar mom did the same to us when we were 15/16 but I also know family who gave it to their 2 year old. I'm overall really undecided.


I agree with you Karla, but I don't think we, at least me, were saying in the context that yeah go ahead and give the kid a case of bottles of Jack. YKWIM. Also, don't know about give it to the 2 yo. Overall I agree with you.

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by baybeegurl5469 on Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:13 pm

When I was growing up in Nj it was legal to consume alcohol underage in your home under your parents supervision. My parents let me have wine when I was young a few sips, my dad would let me try his liquers like blackberry brandy. My parents also made deserts like brandy soaked cherries and rumballs. Once I was a teenager at 14 I could have a glass of wine. At 16 I was allowed to have several, or try mixed drinks during new years but only if I was staying at the house. My friends in the neighborhood who attended our New Years parties were only allowed to drink if their parents were there and allowed it. I believe if the parents consent and teach the kids to be responsible it is o.k. However, if it is given without permission or the child is not responsible enough for that privilege then I would say no.

I was brought up with alcohol around the house, RESPONSIBLY. I was given it at a young age and I did not abuse it. My parents taught me how to use it and not abuse it. BUT, the parents need to responsibly teach, REALLY TEACH the responsibilities of alcohol.
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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Psykiblue on Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:43 pm

For me I think part of it is that there's serious alcoholism on both my mom's and my dad's sides of the family so it sort of looms over me a bit. I don't really drink either- my mom didn't either so I don't know. I know I have issues around it so often my opinion differs from a lot of people.

a 2 year old IMO should not have alcohol at that age.
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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by armywife96 on Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:04 pm

Well I have a different view and I am not judging how anyone chooses to parent so please don't think that, mine is one because I never grew up in a home with alcohol and I've never drank. My grandparents on my dad's side drank themselves into an early grave literally. My Mom's side there is a strong problem with addictions and so I chose when I was about 10 (right after my grandfather died) that I would never touch it. I know that is extreme but after 23 yrs why go back on it and honestly I don't feel like I am missing anything. I worked with a girl who let her 10 yr old son drink when they had parties and then I would here her son talk behind her mom's back about how they stole it on other occasions and got drunk, etc, so in that case it wasn't working by letting them have a sip.
For me I have seen the damage it can do so for me I would prefer to teach my kids to be able to have fun with out needing alcohol. When they are older and responsible then they can make the decsion for themselves.
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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by Jenamie on Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:57 pm

I'm torn on this one internally
I believe it should be the parents choice to a point like under 15/16 is too young.
My dad gave me some after I was 20 and I still see nothing wrong with that... BUT the law is the law and if it says I cant give my child some I feel like its not my choice so I cant do it.
And I find in parenting that if I show my kids the law dose not matter in the little things than where is the line...
I know as adults they will understand but as teens they just don't always have the ability to see right from wrong

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Re: Underage Drinking

Post by marisa on Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:45 am

Well, as far as the law goes, in many states it is legal to give your own minor a certain amount as long as they are in your home.

I would never give a two year old alcohol. To me that is child abuse.

As far as alcoholism goes, my grandfather was an alcoholic and died while drinking and driving. My parents drink very little as a result. They allowed me to have alcohol underage on 2-3 occasions, each being only a couple of sips and each coming with a reminder of how drinking irresponsibly could lead to me being thrown through a windshield like my grandfather.

I really think it all depends on whether you trust your kid to use the experience as an opportunity for education and whether abuse/addiction are strong genetic possibilities.

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