Mr & Mrs ...

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Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Jenamie on Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:39 pm

So its not so much a a debate but a question...

So I got my wedding invite from Marisa and in the formal way invites are done (no fault of her own)
It was addressed to "Mr and Mrs Tim Tryon"

Well that bugs the snot out of me... to me its like reducing my whole life to just being someones wife... not a person

I know it started from back in the day when women where not anything more than property... but I was wondering how it made everyone else feel... If I'm just silly or dose that bother anyone else?


Again I'm not taking anything out on Marisa and its not her fault that's how things are, it was just her invite that got me thinking about the whole idea.

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Psykiblue on Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:48 pm

I don't think being defined as a missus anything boils my life down to one teeny point. Those who know me, know the difference. I couldn't be arsed about the ones who don't.

However, if it affects you so much, tell people up and down and all over.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:08 pm

Never really thought about it. As it is, I have to introduce myself as Sgt. Ryan's wife....hmmmmm

Let me think about it some more.

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by ashleyc07 on Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:16 pm

I dont really mind it. I am like Carmen, I am known as Carroll's wife. If they dont know my name thats what they call me. As for the people who really know me they know the difference. It may seem that we are in the shadows of our husbands but we hold the relationship together most of the time and he knows better than to put me down like that. If Billy was a guy that thought the women is only there for taking care of the kids and cleaning and thats it I wouldnt be with him. We are a family and to me the relationship should be 50/50 no matter what others think.Plus being his wife is a big part of my life and to me we became Mr. and Mrs Carroll whenever I married him.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Jenamie on Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:57 pm

ashleyc07 wrote: me we became Mr. and Mrs Carroll whenever I married him.

I dont mind Mr and Mrs Tryon though because that it counting us as a unit its the Mr and Mrs Tim Tryon I don't like...

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Sportyshorty0204 on Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:29 pm

Never really thought about it. But it doesn't make me feel any less than who I am. To me it is just wording!
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by CoCo on Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:04 pm

I honestly do not feel this way. I love being Mr and Mrs Ryan Adams. It in no way makes me feel like my life has been reduced to just a Mrs. We are a unit and are there to support each other no matter what. My friends, family, and my husband respect me for who I am and a name on an invitation doesn't change that. I'm used to being Adam's wife. That's who I am now and it doesn't bother me a bit.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by bright eyes on Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:04 pm

I suppose when I do think about it, the wording does sound weird..but it doesn't really bother me because its just words.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:39 pm

Meh. You're being silly.

While technically the invitations should have been addressed as "Capt and Mrs. Tim Tryon" since Tim is military, you being "Mrs. Tim Tryon" is the proper way to identify you as Tim's wife for the rest of your life (even as a widow). Using your first name and your married last name denotes that you're divorced. If you had kept your maiden name, you would be Mrs. Jeni Collins and on the envelope it would have read "Capt Tim Tryon and Mrs. Jeni Collins".

As for that relegating you to being his belonging, that's a personal issue. IMO, this is no different than introducing yourself as "Tim's wife" when you meet people that he knows, but you're unfamiliar with. It's just another thing that defines you as being you and not another Jeni. That's one of your titles/roles in life now. Is it the only one that you have? No. You're also a daughter, a sister, a friend, a fur-mommy, veteran, etc.


Last edited by Dallasrocks on Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by marisa on Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:47 am

SHOOT ME NOW! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!

Just kidding.

It is like I told you yesterday, the words don't define who you are as a person. Yes, you are Tim's wife, but you are so much more. I don't think that the wording really makes anyone in this day and age think about you being his possession. It is a tradition that has been passed down, and while you may feel like it defines you as something of which he has ownership, I don't think others see it that way. I think this is an issue that you are going to have to settle within yourself.

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by BumbleBee on Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:07 pm

Just my little comment in this... I will never, ever introduce myself at SSg. so-and-so's wife... EVER! That's his rank, not mine... but that's a whole different debate, haha.


And Dallas, why do we have to be known as their wife? Why can't it be Mrs. and Mr. Bridget? haha!
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by marisa on Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:16 pm

I actually know of a couple that went to my college and both the husband and wife hyphenated their last names because they didn't want to give up their names!

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Psykiblue on Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:34 pm

I know of couples where the men take their wives last name. It was important to my husband, so I decided eh why not, I'm not particularly attached to my name. I guess I don't get worked up over stuff.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Guest on Fri Jul 02, 2010 11:32 pm

BumbleBee wrote:Just my little comment in this... I will never, ever introduce myself at SSg. so-and-so's wife... EVER! That's his rank, not mine... but that's a whole different debate, haha.
Well you're not "wearing" his rank by introducing yourself as SSgt Whatever's wife unless you're doing it to one-up someone else and put them in their place because your hubby outranks them/theirs. You're identifying yourself. The only reason that I mentioned rank, was because it's a title and in formal situations, you're supposed to use the appropriate title. It's no different than having a Doctor or a member of the Clergy, etc. as a guest. They would be identified by their social rank.


BumbleBee wrote:And Dallas, why do we have to be known as their wife? Why can't it be Mrs. and Mr. Bridget? haha!
That's just a social issue. We're a male-dominated society and that's one of the little nuances of it.

Karla and Marisa: I've heard of both those situations. I've also heard of both B&G either combining their last names into an entirely new one (Smith + Johnson = Smohnson) or of them just getting an entirely new name (Smith + Johnson = Evans).

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by marisa on Sat Jul 03, 2010 8:20 am

I'm trying to think of what it would sound like if Dan and I combined our names into a new word. Kind of sounds like someone puking.

Oh, as for the military rank thing, Dan specifically asked me to not put ranks on our invites. He stated, "At work, people call me Sergeant. At home, they call me Dan or Dewey. We are not getting married at work, so I don't want us to bother with that crap.". He said to screw that aspect of formality, and I said ok.

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Jenamie on Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:46 am

Tim's mom hyphenated her last name and it's screwed up Tim's name his whole life... his drivers lisinse has both last names on it and so dose the tax people... but legally he only has one last name.... its really annoying and very confusing

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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by bright eyes on Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:47 pm

i wouldnt wanna hyphenate my last name, thats to much every time you have to fill out any sort of paperwork.
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Re: Mr & Mrs ...

Post by Guest on Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:15 pm

I'm the same way. I'm too lazy to hyphenate and spell it all out. I may just shorten my name when I get married. I'll just be Dallas.

Jeni, that's weird that it's not his name and it's giving him probs. That would just annoy me.

Marisa, y'all can be the dewdley family.

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